Virginity it's been around for a while and perpetuated throughout history and across several cultures. Distorted by the patriarchy, virginity is often associated with purity, prudeness, and chastity. It might be shocking to hear this, but virginity is a social construct. The idea of virginity does a lot of damage, especially to women or those who identify as women. So for the rest of this article, we'll be focusing on virginity and how it impacts those who identify as a woman, perpetuating the idea in society that girls and women are objects that can be owned, enforcing the gender binary, and much more.

The History of Virginity

It's believed that the rise of agriculture is where the concept of virginity came from due to fathers wanting to commoditize their daughters, turning any young girl or woman who was a "virgin" into property to be sold to another man. Some of the earliest accounts of virginity come from ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, and especially early Christianity, where virginity was equated to chastity, as seen with the Virgin Mary. Virginity relied on "purity" and the act of not having sex rather than actual penetration. 

However, virginity isn't equated to a young woman's worth in every culture. For example, virginity was considered a symbol of a woman's independence and strength rather than ownership in ancient Greece, Sumer, Rome, and Egypt. Virginity was a way of being that Goddesses embodied where their sexuality was defined by belonging to oneself. It meant that one was unmarried, not that they were sexually inexperienced or chaste. Goddesses that were virgins in this sense are Artemis, Inanna, Vesta, Athena, Astarte, and Aphrodite. Virginity meant that your sexuality was your own and became a relationship with the self. 

In Western civilizations, Christianity and the bible are the most culturally significant in spreading the virginity myth. Starting with the story of the Virgin Mary and the idea that she was chosen to be the mother of God because she was devoted and a virgin, implying that she didn't belong to another man yet. Even the fear of the hymen tearing came from Judeo-Christian beliefs. While the hymen can tear and cause bleeding, it doesn't mean it can't tear from other factors besides vaginal penetration. What's more, the hymen can heal like any other part of the body! 

In the Middle Ages, the De Secretis Mulierum, or "The Woman's Secrets," was written as a handbook to identify if a woman was a virgin or chaste based on her demeanor and attitude. A speculum was used to inspect a woman's vaginal opening to determine if she was a virgin. However, by the late 19th century, a speculum was considered a "violating tool" that was phased out of doctor's offices out of fear that it encouraged vaginal penetration and awakened a woman's sexual desires causing nymphomania or hysteria. Eventually, it became taboo to examine or study female genitalia, which is why female sexual health hasn't been well documented, setting back the science of gynecology years. 

‍
Why is virginity still around? ‍

Virginity continues to exist as a tool of oppression and commoditization of young girls and women. It's used as a method of policing women's bodies and encourages the gender binary. It's even more damaging to sex to focus on vaginal penetration as the only method of sex, erasing all other acts of sex, like oral, anal, foreplay, and more. The consequence of the virginity myth is that it ingrains and teaches the ideas of "purity" to young girls and women. In religious communities, Purity Balls are a formal event where teenage girls wear white dresses to symbolize purity and pledge sexual abstinence. A 2016 Journal of Marriage and Family study found that young girls who made abstinence pledges became pregnant as teens. Purity culture creates toxic environments where young girls and women are cut off from methods of safe sex or sex education. Schools across the United States forgo sex education in place of abstinence education, which ignores how to have sex safely and causes teenagers to go to other sources for their sex education, like porn. While porn is great for a fun time, it's not a realistic depiction of sex. A 2021 study by the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that young adults between the ages of 18-24 used pornography as a source of how to have sex. A whole generation of youth learned about sex and sexual health from porn! 

Where do we go from here? 
‍

It's a difficult question on a large and small scale. How do we as a society move forward to deconstruct and unlearn the concept of virginity? Breaking it down into small actions you can do as an individual and educating yourself is an essential first step. Learning about your body, gender, and sexuality and embracing who you are fully can help you unlearn virginity myths. Embrace your sexuality and sensuality. To quote the author of Sacred Sex, Gabriela Herstik, "Sex is anything with the potential to bring you an expansive sense of pleasure," so explore what brings you pleasure. Communicate your needs, desires, and boundaries with your partner(s). Reframe what virginity means to you. Instead, it could be the first time you came, the first time you masturbated, or the first time you've embraced your sensuality, whatever resonates with you. More extensive actions are supporting sex workers, embracing sex positivity, advocating for victims of sexual assault, and protesting rape culture. Honor your body, honor yourself, and throw your virginity in the trash. 

‍